Midlife Mom Guide to Rediscovering Yourself

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Last Updated on May 7, 2023 by Erin

Are you feeling a bit stuck? This midlife mom guide will help you break free of negative patterns and rediscover your true self. From saying “no” to nurturing relationships to setting goals, learn how to invest in yourself and lead a more fulfilling life.

Woman with arms spread wide at the beach. Midlife mom guide gives tips for rediscovering your true self and living a fulfilling life.
Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash

Welcome to the stage of life where you’re sandwiched between your youth and your golden years.

As a midlife mom, you’re likely dealing with a whole new set of challenges. Maybe your kids are growing up and moving out, or maybe you’re trying to juggle caring for aging parents while you still have young kids at home.

You may be feeling like you’re stuck in a rut, wondering what’s next in life.

It’s normal to feel a bit lost during this phase of life, but that’s where rediscovering yourself comes in. By taking the time to reconnect with your own wants, needs, and passions, you can find a new sense of purpose and direction.

It’s time to break out of your comfort zone and embrace the opportunities that come with this stage of life.

Are you ready? Let’s do this!

Identify Your Midlife Values and Priorities

Reflect on what truly matters to you

It’s time to take a step back and think about what really matters to you. Maybe you’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else that you’ve lost sight of your own priorities. Or maybe you’ve just never taken the time to really think about it.

So, ask yourself these three questions:

  • What are the things that bring you joy?
  • What are your core values?
  • What makes you feel fulfilled and purposeful?

Maybe it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing a creative passion, or making a difference in your community. Whatever it is, make sure you’re investing your time and energy in the things that truly matter to you.

It’s okay if your priorities have shifted over time – that’s just a part of life. But by taking the time to reflect on what matters most to you right now, you can start to make intentional choices that align with your values and bring you closer to the life you want to live.

Assess where you are investing your time and energy

Now that you’ve reflected on what truly matters to you, it’s time to assess where you’re currently investing your time and energy.

Are you spending most of your days doing things that align with your values and priorities, or are you caught up in a never-ending cycle of obligations and to-do lists?

It can be easy to get caught up in the daily grind and lose sight of the bigger picture. But taking a step back and looking at your life as a whole can help you see where you might need to make some changes.

Are there areas of your life where you’re overcommitting or saying “yes” to things that don’t align with your values?

Are there things you’re doing out of habit or obligation, rather than genuine enjoyment or purpose?

Remember, you have the power to make intentional choices about how you spend your time and energy.

How to Say “No” When You’re Used to Saying “Yes” to Everything

Saying “no” can be challenging, especially if you’re used to saying “yes” to everything. But it’s an important skill to learn if you want to prioritize your time and energy. Here are a few ways to say “no” in a polite and respectful manner:

  1. Thank them for the opportunity, but politely decline.
    “Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to make it this time.”
  2. Be honest and explain why you can’t commit.
    “I appreciate the invitation, but I have a lot on my plate right now and need to prioritize some other commitments.”
  3. Offer an alternative solution or compromise.
    “I won’t be able to attend the whole event, but I could stop by for a little while earlier in the day.”

Examine Your Midlife Identities

Don’t Let One Role Define You

Maybe you’ve been carrying around a label like “mom” or “wife” for so long that you’ve forgotten who you are outside of those roles.

I’m not recommending you completely abandon those important aspects of your life. Instead, I think that we need to recognize all of our other identities and embrace them.

Maybe you’re a writer, an artist, or an activist. Don’t forget those parts of you!

If you only hold on to the identify of “mom,” you’ll find yourself lost when your babies leave the nest.

Embrace Change

Change can be scary, but it can also bring new opportunities and possibilities.

As you continue your journey of rediscovering yourself, it’s important to embrace change and all that it can bring.

Maybe you’re considering a new career path, starting a new hobby, or making a big move. Whatever it is, it’s important to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to try new things.

Trust yourself and your instincts, and remember that you have the power to create the life you want to live.

Explore New Passions and Interests

Try out new hobbies or activities

Think about something you’ve always wanted to try, whether it’s painting, cooking, hiking, or dancing.

What’s stopping you from giving it a shot?

Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to pursue a new hobby or activity – the goal is simply to have fun, learn something new, and explore different aspects of yourself.

Life is short, and it’s important to make time for the things that bring us joy and fulfillment.

Step out of your comfort zone

Now, I’m not saying you have to go bungee jumping or run a marathon tomorrow (although hey, if that’s your thing, go for it!).

Stepping out of your comfort zone can mean something as simple as trying a new restaurant or striking up a conversation with a stranger.

The point is, when we step outside of what we know, we open ourselves up to new experiences, ideas, and perspectives. We challenge ourselves to grow and learn, and we may even surprise ourselves with what we’re capable of.

Focus on Self-Care in Midlife

Prioritizing physical, mental, and emotional health

If you’re not taking care of yourself, how can you expect to show up as your best self in other areas of your life?

This means making time for things like exercise, healthy eating, meditation, therapy, or whatever else helps you feel your best.

It means setting boundaries with others when you need to and prioritizing self-care even when it feels like there’s never enough time in the day.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish – it’s a necessary part of taking care of yourself and those around you. Midlife isn’t exactly a walk in the park! Self-care allows us to better take on the challenges that come our way.

Create a self-care routine that works for you

Creating a self-care routine that works for you is all about finding what feels good and prioritizing it in your daily life.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

  1. Identify your needs: What helps you feel your best? Do you need alone time to recharge, or do you thrive in social situations? Do you need physical activity, or do you prefer to relax and unwind? Identifying your needs is the first step in creating a self-care routine that works for you.
  2. Make a plan: Once you’ve identified your needs, make a plan for how you can prioritize them in your daily life. This might mean scheduling a weekly yoga class, setting aside time for a daily meditation practice, or simply making time to read a book or take a bath.
  3. Be flexible: Remember, life is unpredictable, and sometimes our self-care routines need to be flexible too. If something isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to switch it up or try something new.
  4. Keep it simple: Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. Sometimes the simplest acts, like taking a walk or having a cup of tea, can be the most effective.

Strengthen Relationships

Nurture friendships and family ties

Nurturing friendships and family ties is an essential part of living a happy and fulfilling life. After all, we humans are social creatures, and our relationships with others can bring us joy, support, and a sense of belonging.

Make time for the relationships that are important to you. If I don’t get something on the calendar, I know it’s not going to happen. Schedule a weekly coffee shop date or phone call and get it on the calendar with reminders!

Appreciation can also go a long way. If you’re not sure how to go about it, a gratitude challenge is a great place to start, until it feels more natural.

And try to be present when you’re with loved ones. This is something I am actively working on. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, and give them your full attention.

Build new connections with like-minded individuals

Building new connections with like-minded individuals can be an excellent way to expand your horizons.

If you’re not sure where to start, find groups in social media. If you’re feeling more adventurous, join a book club or volunteer organization.

It feels good to be part of a community with those who have the same values and interests as you.

Embrace Personal Growth and Development

Continuously learn and expand your knowledge

We should all strive to be life-long learners.

Stay curious! Stay engaged!

Reading is an excellent way to learn new things and expand your perspective. Make a habit of reading books, articles, and blogs that interest you, and challenge yourself to explore topics outside of your comfort zone.

I wrote an entire blog post about the importance of investing in yourself as a midlife woman. One of the worst things we can do personally and financially is to become stagnant and stuck in our ways.

Set new goals and challenges for yourself

Make SMART goals that will help you continue to grow as a fabulous midlife woman.

SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Here a few examples of SMART goals for a midlife mom:

  • Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for the next 3 months to improve cardiovascular health and increase stamina.
  • Take an online course in a subject that has always interested you, dedicating 2 hours per week to study for the next 3 months.
  • Meditate for 10 minutes every morning for the next month to reduce stress and increase mindfulness.
  • Write for 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for the next 6 months to work towards completing a memoir or a novel.
  • Set aside 1 hour each week for a phone call or video chat with a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while, for the next 3 months.

Celebrate each small win along the way. This will help keep you motivated and build momentum towards achieving your goal.

Remember that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the process. Embrace them as learning opportunities and use them to adjust your approach and get back on track.

Midlife Mom Guide Recap

  1. Midlife can be a time of transition, and midlife moms may face unique challenges such as feeling lost, overwhelmed, or stuck.
  2. It’s important to take time to reflect on what truly matters to you and assess where you’re currently investing your time and energy.
  3. Saying no, recognizing the roles and labels that no longer serve you, embracing change, and stepping out of your comfort zone can all help you break free of negative patterns and rediscover your true self.
  4. Nurturing friendships and family ties, building new connections with like-minded individuals, and continuously learning and expanding your knowledge are all important ways to invest in yourself.
  5. Prioritizing physical, mental, and emotional health is crucial, and creating a self-care routine that works for you can help you stay balanced and centered.
  6. Setting new goals and challenges for yourself can help you continue growing and developing as a person, and lead a more fulfilling life.


I want to encourage you to take action towards rediscovering yourself. It’s never too late to start investing in yourself and pursuing your passions and goals.

Remember, change can be scary and uncomfortable, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and transformation. You have the power to break free of negative patterns and limiting beliefs and create a life that is aligned with your values and priorities.

Start by taking small steps towards the things that light you up and make you feel alive.

Over to you- what have been your biggest obstacles and challenges as a midlife woman? How are you working on rediscovering yourself and making yourself a priority? Let me know in the comments below!


Midlife mom guide to rediscovering yourself

Sharing Is Caring!

6 thoughts on “Midlife Mom Guide to Rediscovering Yourself”

  1. This was wonderful! I work with counseling clients and some moms and the use of self compassion, saying no, priotizing self during momhood is so challenging. This provides such useful information.

    1. Hi Jasmine,

      I’m so glad you liked the post! It’s all very challenging, but so worth it. Rebuilding a relationship with myself was vital to finally getting out of the postpartum fog that felt like it was still hanging around, even after my baby grew up.

  2. I looove this! You lay out so many wonderful ways to reconnect with yourself! The relationship we have with ourselves is so valuable and rediscovering who we are is so important! Well done 🙂

  3. These are some great suggestions! I love your idea to connect with other like-minded people. I recently started getting involved with my church and I’m loving how nice the people are. It’s made me feel more connected in my town. 🙂

    1. I’m so glad you liked it! Church is a great way to connect with like-minded people in your community. I’m trying really hard to connect with like-minded moms in my area. It feels more challenging now that I’m older, but so worth it.

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