Last Updated on July 29, 2023 by Erin
Are you looking for some insights from another midlife mom? This post highlights my current midlife mom musings. I’m a woman who has encountered an early midlife crisis and lived to tell the tale.
Welcome and I hope you can find some of it relatable and maybe even inspiring in your own midlife journey.
1. Embracing Change
As a midlife mom, I’ve experienced countless diaper changes, sleepless nights, and the heartwarming moments of watching my children grow. Now, my kids are becoming more independent, and their unique personalities are shining through. It’s amazing, but it also leaves me wondering about what’s next.
I realize only natural to feel a mix of emotions during this phase. There is definitely nostalgia, realizing how quickly the time has flown by. But there’s also excitement and curiosity about the future.
Each season of life brings something new and beautiful. Just as spring brings renewal and growth, midlife brings its own transformations. My children need me in different ways now. I might feel a little pang of sadness but then I remind myself that this change has allowed for rediscovery of the parts of me that were put on hold during the early years of motherhood.
As I work on embracing the change, I try to remember that I have accumulated a wealth of experiences and wisdom throughout the years. Instead of fighting it, I’m trusting my intuition. It hasn’t failed me yet!
And whenever you need a little reminder, take a moment to breathe, and remember that the best is yet to come.
2. Midlife Wisdom and Growth
I’m on the early side of midlife, so I’ve still got a lot of growing to do, but it’s amazing to stand where I am and look back at all the amazing experiences I’ve had thus far.
There have been some huge successes and major failures. It’s all a part of the process. The great thing is, it’s all led to me feeling so much more comfortable in my own skin.
I have a whole blog post describing the things I am no longer messing with in midlife. It’s all part of knowing who I am and being true to myself.
For example, I know what my values are and the kind of humans I want my children to grow up to be. It makes parenting a whole lot easier.
I also know that I don’t want to mess around and stick with a career that makes me feel burnt out and stressed all the time. Once I reached midlife, I had the strength to make a huge career change and I was financially literate enough to do it confidently.
3. Time Flies…but It’s Ok
I used to really stress out anytime I saw a picture or social media post telling moms they only had 18 summers or holidays with their children.
Now I know that it isn’t necessarily true. Hopefully, you have the kind of relationship with your children that they still visit you or spend time with you as an adult.
For me personally, I live fairly close to my parents, and I see them regularly. It’s a different type of relationship than when I was child, obviously, but it’s still special.
I do try really hard to live in the moment and embrace every day with my kids, but I don’t feel the sense of panic I did when they were babies. Putting down the phone, taking just a few pictures and being mindful of the experience has helped tremendously.
4. Reclaiming My Identity
I won’t lie, this was a tough process and it’s an ongoing one.
You will definitely want to check out my post about how midlife moms can rediscover themselves.
Here is a short summary of the key points from that post:
- decide what is truly important to you
- determine where you want to devote your time and energy
- learn to say “no” and set boundaries
- step out of your comfort zone
- break free from negative patterns
- nurture relationships and make new ones
- prioritize your health and well-being
- set new goals and challenges
Easier said than done, I know! One day at a time, my friend…
5. It’s Time to Take Care of Yourself
At this point, we’ve spent years putting our heart and soul into being an amazing mom, and it’s been a rewarding journey. But let’s be real, it’s also been quite the whirlwind, right?
Now, you’re at that midlife stage, and guess what? It’s time to give yourself some well-deserved love and attention!
Remember those hobbies and passions you used to enjoy before the kids came along? They’re still there, waiting for you to rediscover them. And there are some other fantastic pastimes out there waiting for you. (Birdwatching happens to be my latest joy, in case you’re wondering.)
Self-care isn’t just a buzzword; it’s about nourishing your own soul and refilling your cup, so you can continue being that amazing mom while also being kind to yourself.
I think you’ll find that by nurturing your own needs and interests, you’ll be even more present and joyful in your midlife mom journey.
6. Cherishing Relationships
First and foremost, there are your children – those little miracles you’ve nurtured and loved fiercely since day one.
One of the biggest reasons for me wanting to change jobs, is that I was turning into the type of parent I never wanted to be. I was tired all the time and snapped very easily. Every time I yelled, I beat myself up afterwards and spiraled into self-loathing.
I knew my weekly schedule needed to change so that our morning and evening routines could be much calmer. My husband helps as much as he can, but his schedule can be fairly intense. Something had to give. Switching to a part-time contracting job has changed my life so drastically. I know that’s not what is best for everyone, but it’s what I needed to do for me personally and for my children.
It’s my goal to be a mom who not only teaches and guides her children, but is also a lot of fun and doesn’t take herself too seriously. I’ve worked hard to create routines in our day that keep things running smoothly AND create fun memories for my kids. I want them to look back as adults and say “Hey, remember when we had a dance party every time we cleaned up the kitchen? That was so fun.”
And then there’s my partner – the one who’s been by my side through thick and thin, sharing the joys and the challenges of parenthood. Those early years of newborns and toddlers was really tough on our marriage, and we honestly didn’t grow closer until I worked on rediscovering my identity.
Now we are better than ever and having the best time. One of our favorite new traditions is taking a kid-free anniversary trip to a place we’ve never been before. No itinerary, just going with the flow.
Midlife is a moment to deepen relationships, communicate openly, and to create new memories.
7. Gratitude and Contentment
Expressing gratitude for the blessings in my life has become so much more profound during midlife.
I am an idealist, and constantly looking for ways things could be better. It’s a blessing and a curse. I crave change and challenges but always feel very restless.
Gratitude is something I’ve had to really force myself to practice. Obviously, I’m grateful for major things in my life, but I really have to try and be grateful for the small things as well.
Many of us millennial mamas have had to deal with the comparison trap that comes with social media. When I find myself wishing I had what someone else has, I remind myself that each journey is unique. As soon as start comparing, we rob ourselves of joy.
Focus on your own progress, celebrate your victories, and appreciate the unique gifts you bring to the world. It will do wonders for your outlook!
If it feels challenging, which it absolutely is, you can try my gratitude challenge for free. Give yourself 30 days to make gratitude a habit.
8. Letting Go
In midlife, I have found myself pondering the art of letting go.
I am admittedly a bit of a control freak. But I’ve realized that when I try and control my children’s outfits and hobbies, I’m not allowing them to explore their own identity.
It is so freeing to finally let go of expectations, embrace imperfections, allow kiddos the space to make their own choices.
I’ve also had to let go expectations of what I think I should look like or what my house should look like. If I’m comfortable and my home is a safe space, I’ve succeeded.
Letting go of clutter and unnecessary items has made the journey so much easier. Minimalism is the way, my friend!
9. The Circle of Life
Ugh, this is tough.
Midlife is a time when moms often witness their own parents getting older. It’s difficult but can also prompt us to reflect on our relationships and cherish even more the time we have together.
Having older parents might mean you are caregiver to a parent AND your children. That can be extremely stressful. Remember that you as an individual are important and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Find support systems and ask for help.
10. Finding Purpose
With more life experience, midlife moms may search for deeper meaning and purpose in their lives, seeking fulfillment beyond the traditional roles of motherhood.
This search might lead to a midlife crisis, which really isn’t a bad thing. It can be a wonderful time of change and transformation if you cope with everything in a health way.
I am absolutely LOVING this time in my life. I’m changing my career path, giving myself a more flexible schedule, prioritizing travel and meaningful experiences with loved ones, and strengthening relationships.
I’m more comfortable in my own skin and doing the fun, bold things I’ve always wanted to do. (I’m talking red lipstick, piercings, and bangs…not skydiving).
11. Accepting the Aging Process
It is what it is. We are all getting older. What’s so “fabulous” about midlife is that you get hormonal acne and wrinkles at the same time. Lovely.
Accepting it for what it is has made life a whole lot easier. In fact, allowing my gray hair to grow out naturally was one of the best things I did.
I also take care of my skin and use Botox-free wrinkle prevention. I’m not necessarily trying to look younger, just trying to slow things down and keep my skin healthy.
The truth is, as we age, we start to encounter chronic health conditions and more health risks. Be sure to stay on top of preventative visits and do what you can to stay fit and healthy while still enjoying life. Intermittent fasting keeps me at a healthy weight without sacrificing the foods I love. Find whatever balance works best for you.
12. Empowering Others
Don’t gatekeep the tips and tricks that have worked for you. Moms can get lost in online social media groups and can encounter some pretty bad advice. Let younger moms benefit from your wisdom.
That being said, avoid condemning those who make different choices from you. What works for one doesn’t always work for another. As a c-section mom who had to formula feed her babies earlier than she expected, I’ve heard a lot of comments that didn’t make me feel so great.
Empowered women empower others. Let’s lift each other up.
13. The Journey Continues
Midlife is not a destination. It’s an exciting time and a fabulous opportunity for growth and new experiences. Embrace it and imagine all the incredible things your future can hold.
Hey, maybe you should start a blog to document it all!
Final Reflection
Midlife isn’t necessarily an easy time but it’s not a bad time. We are in our prime and navigating a journey of self-discovery, all while taking care of those we love.
Cherish the present. Celebrate personal growth. Take care of yourself.
Do you have any other midlife mom musings you would add? Let us know in the comments!
Sincerely,
Erin
